Bagaimana Merencanakan Pernikahan:Tips dan Pedoman

Bertunangan bisa menjadi salah satu momen paling berkesan dan mengasyikkan dalam hidup Anda. Selama beberapa minggu pertama setelah lamaran, Anda berdua merasa pusing karena bahagia dan penuh antisipasi. Anda berdua juga harus! Anda telah bertemu dengan pria atau wanita impian Anda, Anda telah memutuskan untuk menikah, dan sekarang saatnya untuk merencanakan pernikahan -- perayaan resmi cinta dan komitmen Anda.

Saat Anda merencanakan hari yang indah ini, Anda berdua akan terus merasakan kegembiraan yang luar biasa, tetapi mungkin juga mengalami beberapa kupu-kupu dan sedikit kebingungan. Bagaimanapun, menyelenggarakan upacara dan resepsi adalah tugas besar.

Akan ada pertanyaan tentang apa saja dan segalanya:dari makanan (ikan, ayam, atau sapi?) hingga gaun pengantin (berpotongan rendah, pas, atau berpinggang kerajaan?) hingga musik resepsi (band live, orkestra kecil, atau DJ?). Akan ada masalah tentang anggaran, daftar tamu, dan gaya.

Namun pada akhirnya, ingatlah apa sebenarnya hari ini -- perayaan cinta. Tetap fokus, dan tetap teratur. Di sinilah artikel ini berguna. Ini dikemas dengan informasi bermanfaat dan lembar kerja yang berguna yang Anda berdua dapat klik dan cetak untuk membantu Anda tetap di atas perencanaan pernikahan Anda. Anda akan menemukan:

• daftar periksa untuk melacak apa yang perlu dilakukan
• bagan yang berguna untuk mengatur banyak detail kecil terkait pernikahan
• lembar kerja untuk mengarungi kandidat vendor dan kemungkinan situs potensial
• kotak petunjuk yang berisi tips berharga dan informasi lainnya

Selain itu, artikel ini menampilkan kiat-kiat Penghilang Stres dan Perpanjang Anggaran khusus yang membantu Anda berdua mengatasi masalah sulit dan benar-benar menghabiskan uang pernikahan.

Dirancang untuk membantu pasangan yang bertunangan merencanakan seluruh pernikahan, mulai dari mengumumkan pertunangan dan membeli cincin hingga memotong kue dan merencanakan bulan madu, artikel ini akan membantu Anda berdua menciptakan hari yang benar-benar berkesan -- tanpa membuat diri Anda gila dalam prosesnya.

Setiap pernikahan berbeda sehingga mungkin ada lembar kerja yang Anda berdua harus cetak ulang agar cukup untuk menutupi semua tamu Anda atau semua kandidat vendor Anda. Sebaliknya, mungkin ada beberapa lembar kerja yang tidak Anda perlukan sama sekali atau Anda mungkin harus menyesuaikannya agar sesuai dengan kebutuhan Anda.

Mulailah di jalur yang benar dengan memulai daftar nomor telepon penting -- mulai dari anggota pesta pernikahan hingga toko bunga dan musisi. Kemudian lihat halaman berikutnya untuk membantu Anda menetapkan anggaran dan jadwal. Anda berdua juga akan menemukan informasi tentang mengumumkan pertunangan dan cara memilih cincin -- yaitu, jika Anda belum memiliki cincin!

Anggaran dan Jadwal

Masa pertunangan mungkin akan menjadi saat paling hening dalam proses pernikahan pasangan. Anda berdua akan segera dihadapkan pada keputusan, kompromi, dan perdebatan -- ada yang sederhana, ada yang lucu, ada yang sulit, tetapi semuanya penting.

Meskipun penting untuk menikmati semua kebahagiaan, ada juga beberapa tugas yang harus ditangani dengan cukup cepat. Pasangan perlu mengatur anggaran dan jadwal untuk merencanakan pernikahan, membeli cincin, dan mengumumkan pertunangan. Di bawah ini adalah tips bermanfaat untuk membuat banyak pilihan seputar aspek pernikahan ini. Ingat, Anda dapat mengeklik tautan lembar kerja untuk membantu setiap langkah.

Membuat Anggaran

Menetapkan anggaran untuk upacara dan resepsi pernikahan agak mudah -- Anda memiliki apa yang Anda miliki dan hanya itu. Berpegang teguh pada anggaran adalah hal yang menjadi sulit. Untuk saat ini, pasangan yang bertunangan perlu duduk bersama kedua orang tua untuk mendiskusikan berapa banyak uang yang mereka miliki, berapa banyak uang yang mereka butuhkan, dan siapa yang akan menanggung tagihan untuk bagian mana dari pernikahan.

Kadang-kadang akan sulit, tetapi cobalah untuk merencanakan pernikahan sesuai kemampuan Anda. Sebelum Anda mulai, tentukan daftar prioritas untuk upacara dan resepsi. Ajukan pertanyaan dalam hati kepada diri Anda sendiri:Apakah yang kita belanjakan untuk barang ini benar-benar berharga bagi kita berdua? Lagi pula, membutuhkan waktu lima tahun untuk melunasi resepsi bukanlah cara yang tepat, terutama karena kebanyakan pengantin baru memiliki daftar keinginan yang panjang, seperti rumah pertama dan/atau perabotan baru.

Menyetel Tanggal

Duduk bersama untuk menentukan daftar prioritas tanggal pernikahan. Anda berdua mungkin ingin menyertakan keluarga Anda dalam percakapan ini, terutama jika mereka tinggal di luar kota. Berikut adalah beberapa hal penting yang perlu dipertimbangkan saat memilih tanggal:

• Bulan madu: Pertimbangkan jenis bulan madu yang Anda berdua inginkan. Misalnya, jika Anda berdua adalah penyembah matahari, jangan rencanakan tanggal pernikahan saat pulau favorit Anda sedang mengalami musim hujan.
• Jadwal kerja: Anda berdua mungkin memiliki periode kerja ketika Anda tidak dapat mengambil cuti. Pilih tanggal ketika hidup Anda paling tidak menuntut.
• Liburan dan acara keluarga: Beberapa pasangan berusaha keras untuk menjadwalkan pernikahan selama akhir pekan tiga hari, sehingga setiap orang memiliki lebih banyak waktu bersama. Ide ini bekerja paling baik jika Anda mengirim undangan setidaknya delapan minggu sebelumnya; jika tidak, orang mungkin sudah memiliki rencana.
• Siklus menstruasi pengantin wanita: Pengantin wanita ingin terlihat dan merasakan yang terbaik di hari pernikahannya. Jika dia mengalami siklus yang tidak dapat diprediksi, obrolan singkat dengan dokter kandungannya dapat memberikan solusi.
• Hari dalam seminggu: Sabtu umumnya merupakan hari pernikahan yang disukai. Dengan begitu, tamu luar kota bisa dengan mudah menginap. Tanggal hari kerja menghasilkan banyak penyesalan.
• Tanggal alternatif: Jika memungkinkan, buatlah tanggal pilihan pertama dan setidaknya satu tanggal cadangan.

Setelah pasangan memutuskan kencan, kesenangan sebenarnya bisa dimulai! Bekerja mundur dari tanggal yang dipilih untuk menentukan jadwal apa yang perlu dilakukan kapan. Beberapa tugas, seperti mengirim undangan dan mengambil cincin, jelas tidak dapat diselesaikan hingga dua bulan sebelum Hari Besar. Di sisi lain, Anda berdua ingin mengurus barang lain -- memesan toko bunga dan resepsionis, misalnya -- setidaknya satu tahun sebelumnya.

Cara Memilih Cincin

Dalam beberapa dekade terakhir, pria itu berlutut, bergandengan tangan, dan melamar. Saat ini, banyak pasangan bersama-sama memutuskan untuk menjadi suami istri. Demikian juga, mereka memilih cincin bersama. Ada baiknya untuk mengetahui beberapa hal terlebih dahulu:

• Temukan toko perhiasan yang dapat Anda percayai. Gunakan rekomendasi atau koneksi keluarga untuk menemukan toko perhiasan yang Anda tahu jujur ​​dan adil.
• Pilih gaya. Ada banyak cincin di luar sana, dengan gaya dari pusaka hingga kontemporer. Pilih gaya yang mencerminkan selera pribadi Anda.
• Tetapkan kisaran harga. Cari tahu apa yang Anda mampu bahkan sebelum Anda mengunjungi toko perhiasan mana pun. Sebagian besar ahli setuju bahwa anggaran cincin tidak boleh lebih dari gaji gabungan pengantin selama dua bulan.
• Ketahui dasar berlian Anda. Ada empat kategori yang digunakan pembuat perhiasan untuk menilai nilai sebuah berlian:potongan, kejernihan, warna, dan karat (lihat "Mengetahui Empat C").

Pastikan untuk menyimpan catatan yang baik tentang di mana cincin dibeli, berapa harganya, empat C berlian, dll. Ini akan berguna untuk tujuan asuransi dan jika Anda menemukan sesuatu yang salah dengan cincin setelah membawanya pulang.

Selain itu, Anda berdua berpotensi menghabiskan ribuan dolar dengan toko perhiasan, jadi manfaatkan status baru Anda sebagai pelanggan yang berharga dan pertimbangkan untuk menggunakan toko perhiasan yang sama untuk membeli hadiah pengiring pengantin wanita. Jangan malu untuk meminta potongan harga kuantitas.

Mengumumkan Keterlibatan

Salah satu tugas terindah yang dimiliki pasangan selama periode ini adalah mengumumkan pertunangan kepada dunia. Dan meskipun Anda berdua mungkin ingin menyampaikan kabar dari atap, ada beberapa cara yang lebih tradisional untuk mengumumkan pertunangan.

Pertama, Anda harus menghubungi daftar "A" -- teman dan keluarga yang perlu mendengar berita langsung dari pengantin. Luangkan waktu sejenak untuk mencatat nama dan nomor; pastikan Anda berdua tidak melupakan siapa pun di lingkaran terdekat Anda. Jadwalkan beberapa waktu luang untuk menelepon. Kalian berdua akan banyak bicara!

Secara tradisional, ibu mempelai pria menghubungi ibu mempelai wanita untuk ucapan selamat dan obrolan perkenalan. Ini adalah isyarat yang baik untuk menuliskan nomor telepon rumah ibu mempelai wanita dan mengirimkannya atau secara pribadi memberikannya kepada calon ibu mertuanya. Jika kedua wanita itu belum bertemu secara resmi, pengantin wanita mungkin ingin menambahkan beberapa kata penyemangat seperti, "Ibuku tidak sabar untuk mendengar kabar darimu. Dia sudah memiliki banyak hal untuk didiskusikan!"

• Warna: Semakin dekat berlian dengan tidak berwarna, semakin besar nilai moneternya.
• Kejelasan: Istilah ini mengacu pada jumlah cacat interior dan eksterior yang dapat dilihat ketika batu diperbesar sepuluh kali.
• Potong: Berlian harus memiliki proporsi dan segi untuk menonjolkan kilau dan kejernihan batu.
• Karat: Ini mengacu pada ukuran batu yang sebenarnya. Nilai per karat ditentukan oleh warna, potongan, dan kejernihan. Sebuah batu kecil dengan warna, potongan, dan kejernihan tanpa cacat sebenarnya dapat memiliki nilai lebih tinggi daripada batu besar dengan banyak ketidaksempurnaan

Pengumuman Surat Kabar dan Majalah

Pasangan yang baru bertunangan sering mengirimkan pengumuman resmi ke koran lokal dan/atau majalah kota mereka. Mereka perlu menghubungi publikasi untuk mengetahui tenggat waktu pengiriman, tanggal pelaksanaan, dan persyaratan foto (Anda mungkin ingin menyimpan log foto pertunangan dengan informasi penting). Pastikan untuk melacak surat kabar dan majalah yang dihubungi sehingga Anda berdua dapat membeli banyak salinan saat pengumuman diterbitkan.

Pengumuman yang tepat mencakup:

• Nama lengkap pengantin wanita
• Nama lengkap pengantin pria
• Nama ibu pengantin wanita
• Nama ibu pengantin pria
• Nama ayah pengantin wanita
• Nama ayah pengantin pria
• Kampung halaman dan negara bagian orang tua mempelai wanita
• Kampung halaman dan negara bagian orang tua mempelai pria
• Kota situs pernikahan, negara bagian
• Musim, bulan, dan/atau tanggal pernikahan

Pasangan tidak disarankan untuk menyertakan alamat, karena mereka akan menerima banyak hadiah indah selama beberapa bulan ke depan dan tidak ingin memberi tahu pencuri.

Pesta pertunangan sering terjadi segera setelah membuat pengumuman resmi. Hadiah umumnya tidak diberikan; Namun, jika seseorang membawa hadiah, pastikan untuk segera mengirimkan kartu ucapan terima kasih. Ini adalah isyarat yang mudah untuk dilupakan, karena saat ini pikiran Anda berdua terfokus pada rencana pernikahan, dan Anda mungkin belum mencetak kartu ucapan terima kasih resmi.

Apakah Anda berdua melewati anggaran, jadwal, dering, dan pengumuman tanpa hambatan? Bagus untukmu! Jika tidak, ambil napas dalam-dalam. Semuanya akan berhasil, dan masih banyak lagi yang harus dilakukan! Mari kita lanjutkan untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang membuat daftar tamu dan memilih undangan di bagian selanjutnya.

 

• Pilih olahraga favorit Anda, dan ikuti terus. Baik itu yoga, kick-boxing, atau spinning, berikan aktivitas ini beberapa jam setiap minggunya.
• Jika Anda berdua memiliki sesuatu yang menenangkan saraf -- baik itu membaca, melukis, atau mengumpulkan batu di sepanjang pantai -- jangan selalu memprioritaskan rencana pernikahan di depan aktivitas ini. Anda akan tetap lebih tenang, membuat keputusan yang lebih baik, dan lebih menikmati seluruh proses perencanaan jika Anda tetap santai.
• Belajar meminta bantuan. Mendelegasikan membuat semua orang merasa lebih baik:Itu membuat keduanya atau Ibu Anda merasa seolah-olah dia memiliki peran penting, dan itu mengurangi daftar tugas Anda.
• Jangan lupa salah satu alasan terpenting Anda menikah -- karena Anda suka menghabiskan waktu bersama. Seminggu sekali pergilah berkencan, dan larang semua pembicaraan tentang Hari Besar.

Daftar Tamu dan Alat Tulis Pernikahan

Daftar tamu mempengaruhi banyak keputusan pernikahan yang akan dibuat oleh pasangan yang bertunangan, termasuk pilihan alat tulis pernikahan. Jadi, sebelum undangan, alat tulis, dan sebagainya dapat dibeli, Anda berdua harus mengatur daftar tamu dan menentukan jumlah tamu. Kami akan memandu Anda melalui prosesnya. Dan ingat, Anda dapat mengeklik tautan lembar kerja untuk membantu Anda dalam setiap langkah.

Daftar Tamu

Daftar tamu Anda umumnya mendorong keputusan lain, jadi sering kali lebih baik untuk menulis daftar lebih cepat daripada nanti. Dua masalah paling awal yang bergantung pada jumlah tamu akhir adalah total anggaran dan persyaratan undangan.

Jumlah tamu memiliki efek trickle-down pada hampir semua hal yang berkaitan dengan pernikahan. Jika daftar Anda sangat panjang, Anda berdua mungkin ingin mengundang hanya segelintir teman dekat dan keluarga ke upacara dan mengundang semua orang ke resepsi. Ukuran daftar tamu juga dapat memengaruhi suasana hati dan suasana hari itu, serta ukuran pesta pernikahan Anda.

Ada tiga langkah untuk membuat daftar tamu:

1. Lakukan hal pertama terlebih dahulu: Beberapa pasangan suka mengatur jumlah tamu terlebih dahulu dan kemudian mengatur anggaran yang sesuai. Ini sesuai jika mereka tahu sebelumnya bahwa mereka akan memiliki anggaran yang besar. Pasangan lain suka mengatur anggaran dan kemudian menentukan berapa banyak tamu yang bisa diundang. Ini tepat jika mereka berpikir dana akan ketat.
2. Bagi daftar menjadi lima: Bagi daftar tamu di antara lima kategori:daftar pengantin; daftar pengantin pria; daftar teman umum pasangan itu; daftar orang tua mempelai pria; dan daftar orang tua pengantin wanita. (Terkadang paling mudah untuk mengalokasikan semua tamu keluarga ke orang tua masing-masing.)
3. Sedikit: Sekarang mulailah menghapus nama sampai Anda berdua mencapai sasaran.

Ketika datang ke daftar tamu, Anda berdua cenderung memiliki beberapa situasi yang sulit. Ingat, ini pesta Anda; dengan alasan, daftar tamu adalah keputusan kedua mempelai. Tetapi jika Anda berdua merasa lelah atau bingung, berikut beberapa petunjuknya:

• Jika Anda berdua belum pernah bertemu atau berbicara dengan seseorang selama lebih dari setahun, dia mungkin bisa keluar dari daftar.
• Jika Anda berdua perlu melakukan pemotongan, pilih seluruh grup, seperti semua rekan bisnis atau semua anggota klub buku. Jika ada yang mengeluh, cukup jelaskan bahwa Anda merencanakan pernikahan kecil.
• Jika Anda berdua memutuskan untuk tidak memiliki anak di upacara tersebut, dan keluarga Smith menjawab bahwa mereka akan datang dengan keempat anaknya, tangani dengan bijaksana dan langsung. Telepon mereka dan katakan, "Maaf, tapi kami tidak bisa mengakomodasi anak-anak di pesta pernikahan."
• Jika ada "mantan" di latar belakang pengantin (ini bisa berarti pacar, mertua, atau orang tua tiri), tanyakan pada diri Anda sendiri apakah semua orang di pesta pernikahan besar akan merasa nyaman dengan orang yang diundang. Jika Anda atau orang lain mungkin merasa tidak nyaman dengan hadiah tamu ini, maka dia harus dikeluarkan dari daftar.

Alat Tulis

Anda berdua akan membutuhkan cukup banyak barang cetakan untuk pernikahan. Tergantung pada printer yang Anda pilih, item yang disertakan dalam paket alat tulis pernikahan akan bervariasi. (Pastikan untuk melihat semua opsi paket sebelum Anda memesan alat tulis untuk memastikan Anda mendapatkan semua yang Anda inginkan -- dan tidak ada yang tidak Anda butuhkan.)

Paket Undangan Pernikahan

Anda biasanya dapat melihat undangan pernikahan melalui pos satu mil jauhnya -- ada cap "CINTA" di sudutnya dan jahitannya pecah. Untuk mengetahui mengapa amplop begitu penuh sesak, baca terus untuk mengetahui lebih lanjut tentang apa yang biasanya ada dalam paket undangan pernikahan.

• Undangan Upacara dan Amplop: Undangan mengumumkan nada pernikahan dan dengan demikian dapat mengambil sejumlah gaya -- dari tradisional hingga unik. Undangan pernikahan itu sendiri secara tradisional berasal dari orang tua mempelai wanita, namun bisa juga datang dari kedua mempelai. Nada atau gaya undangan harus mencerminkan nada atau gaya upacara dan resepsi. Ada beberapa gaya undangan yang berbeda, dari tradisional hingga kontemporer. Semua sangat dapat diterima. Namun, Anda berdua perlu menetapkan gaya sebelum menyewa printer, karena toko yang berbeda memiliki kemampuan pencetakan yang berbeda. Ada banyak tempat untuk mencari inspirasi gaya. Anda bisa melihat undangan teman, misalnya. Anda juga harus mengunjungi setidaknya dua printer dan melihat buku contoh mereka sehingga Anda dapat mengetahui apa yang tersedia.
• Undangan Resepsi: Undangan resepsi dapat memiliki tiga format:Dapat disertakan pada undangan yang sama dengan informasi upacara; bisa berupa undangan/kartu tersendiri; atau jika seorang tamu hanya diundang ke resepsi, itu dapat digunakan sebagai pengganti undangan upacara. Undangan gabungan untuk resepsi dan upacara adalah cara yang bagus untuk menghemat uang tanpa mengorbankan keanggunan. Namun, jika undangan resepsi terpisah, satu-satunya hal yang perlu diingat adalah bahwa gaya kartu harus sesuai dengan undangan upacara. Dengan kata lain, undangan harus mengikuti gaya tradisional atau kontemporer.
• Kartu Tanggapan dan Amplop: Kartu tanggapan hanya ditujukan ke bagian penerima tamu. Itu harus memiliki baris untuk nama tamu, jumlah orang yang hadir, dan pilihan menu (jika diperlukan). Anda berdua juga harus menyertakan amplop beralamat sendiri dan bermaterai agar tamu dapat mengembalikan kartu tanggapan. Kartu tersebut harus memiliki tanggal tanggapan akhir -- biasanya dua hingga empat minggu sebelum pernikahan.
• Peta: Semakin umum untuk menyertakan peta ke tempat upacara dan tempat resepsi dengan undangan. Ini bisa berupa peta yang dibuat oleh komputer atau peta yang Anda gambar sendiri. Pastikan semua garis dan arah Anda jelas sebelum Anda memberikannya ke printer. Sertakan juga nomor telepon tujuan. Dengan begitu, tamu dapat menelepon jika tersesat.

Item Cetakan Lainnya

Jika Anda berdua tahu sebelumnya barang cetakan lain yang Anda inginkan di pernikahan Anda, mintalah printer yang Anda pilih untuk undangan Anda untuk menambahkan barang-barang ini dengan harga diskon. Ini tidak hanya akan menghemat uang Anda, tetapi juga akan memastikan bahwa setiap bagian yang dicetak cocok dengan gaya yang lain.

• Kartu bangku: Jika Anda merencanakan upacara pernikahan besar dan ingin memastikan tamu tertentu telah memesan kursi, masukkan kartu bangku ke dalam undangan. Ketika tamu menunjukkan kartu ini kepada petugas, mereka akan duduk sesuai dengan itu. Kartu bangku berisi nama tamu, lokasi upacara, dan nomor bangku dan bagiannya (sisi pengantin wanita atau pengantin pria).
• Menempatkan kartu, korek api, serbet, dll.: Anda dapat memasukkan barang-barang cetakan -- seperti serbet dan buku korek api -- di meja resepsionis dan tersebar di sekitar lokasi, seperti di bar atau meja makanan pembuka. Potongan-potongan yang dicetak ini hanya dapat menyertakan nama Anda; nama dan tanggal pernikahan Anda; atau nama, tanggal, dan simbol, seperti lonceng pernikahan. Biasanya dicetak dengan warna yang sesuai dengan warna penerimaan Anda.
• Program pernikahan: Program pernikahan menyebutkan nama pengantin, petugas, semua anggota pesta pernikahan, dan setiap pembaca dan solois. Itu juga mencantumkan acara upacara, termasuk semua lagu, doa, dan kitab suci untuk dibaca. Pembawa acara mendistribusikan program serta tempat duduk para tamu. Baik petugas Anda atau koordinator gereja, sinagoga, atau bait suci Anda dapat memberikan contoh program pernikahan sebelumnya. Anda juga dapat memeriksa dengan teman dan printer Anda untuk melihat contoh lainnya.
• Kartu ucapan terima kasih: Karena Anda berdua akan menulis banyak kartu ucapan terima kasih selama beberapa bulan mendatang, senang memiliki cetakan alat tulis terima kasih yang sesuai untuk digunakan. Kartu-kartu ini berukuran kecil (umumnya dilipat dan berukuran empat kali lima inci) dan biasanya terbuat dari kertas berwarna putih atau gading. Mereka memiliki "Terima Kasih," nama pengantin, atau inisial mereka tercetak di bagian depan. Berhati-hatilah saat mencetak nama atau inisial, karena pengantin wanita mungkin memerlukan nama gadisnya di kartu yang digunakan sebelum upacara dan nama pernikahannya di kartu yang digunakan setelah upacara.
• Pengumuman pernikahan: Pengumuman pernikahan resmi dikirimkan sehari setelah pernikahan kepada keluarga dan teman yang tidak dapat diundang ke acara tersebut. Pengumuman juga bisa masuk ke surat kabar dan majalah lokal. Pengumuman pernikahan di surat kabar atau majalah memiliki susunan kata yang mirip dengan pengumuman pertunangan.
• Kartu di Rumah: Kartu ini terkadang disertakan dengan undangan atau pengumuman pernikahan. Ini memberi tahu apakah pengantin wanita akan menggunakan nama belakangnya yang sudah menikah atau gadis dan di mana pasangan itu akan tinggal.

Tampilkan Bukti Pembuktian

Bisakah Anda membayangkan sesuatu yang lebih memalukan daripada salah mengeja nama calon ibu mertua Anda di undangan? Untuk menghindari kesalahan, mintalah bantuan pemeriksaan dari setidaknya tiga orang -- sebaiknya campuran orang dari kedua belah pihak. Selain itu, baca setiap baris dalam bukti undangan mundur, dari kanan ke kiri. Ini memaksa Anda berdua untuk mengisolasi setiap kata. Jika Anda berdua mempertanyakan nama apa pun, lingkari dan telepon seseorang untuk memeriksa ejaannya. Gunakan kamus untuk memeriksa kata-kata lain yang meragukan. Untuk tanggal, waktu, dan situs, setelah Anda memeriksa ulang informasi ini, kembali dan periksa semuanya lagi. (Dan pemeriksaan ketiga juga tidak ada salahnya!)

Mengatasi Undangan

Mungkin sulit untuk melupakan kemudahan label yang dibuat oleh komputer, tetapi undangannya harus benar-benar diperhatikan. Namun, alamat pengirim Anda dapat dicetak pada amplop. Jika undangan menyertakan amplop bagian dalam, ulangi hanya nama para tamu (termasuk anak-anak di bawah 16 tahun) di atasnya. Orang berusia 16 tahun ke atas biasanya menerima undangan mereka sendiri. Orang lajang mungkin memiliki "dan Tamu" tercetak di samping nama mereka. Gelar formal, seperti Dokter atau Pendeta, harus dieja.

Kecakapan Ongkos Kirim

Jangan lupa untuk memasukkan biaya ongkos kirim dalam anggaran undangan. Dan pastikan untuk menimbang seluruh undangan untuk memastikan ongkos kirim yang benar. Mintalah contoh undangan Anda kepada printer Anda, termasuk setiap amplop (dengan prangko), setiap selungkup, dan setiap lembar kertas tisu. Sampel ini bisa kosong, karena pencetakan normal tidak menambah berat. Bawa sampel ini ke kantor pos dan timbang.

Sekarang setelah daftar tamu diatur dan alat tulis pernikahan dipesan, pasangan itu siap untuk masuk ke detail seluk beluk upacara dan resepsi. Di halaman berikutnya, kita akan mulai dengan mempelajari lebih lanjut tentang memilih musik untuk upacara dan resepsi serta menemukan toko bunga.

• Berbelanja. Biaya cetak dapat dinegosiasikan sedikit. Anda bahkan dapat menemukan printer yang memiliki stok kertas bagus yang datang dengan potongan harga.
• Pilih ukuran undangan standar. Printer Anda dapat memandu Anda menuju undangan yang memerlukan ongkos kirim yang wajar, dibandingkan dengan undangan berukuran besar atau tabung surat, yang dikenakan biaya pengiriman lebih tinggi.
• Pesan undangan tambahan. Pada akhirnya, selalu lebih murah untuk menyerap biaya undangan tambahan daripada mencetak 30 undangan pada menit terakhir.
• Lupakan kartu penerimaan. Menyertakan informasi resepsi pada undangan upacara sangat diperbolehkan, sehingga mengurangi biaya pencetakan dan ongkos kirim Anda.
• Minta saran printer Anda. Dia mungkin menyarankan alternatif pencetakan yang lebih murah tetapi sama elegannya selain pengukiran. Selain itu, minta printer Anda untuk mengutip amplop dengan dan tanpa lapisan tradisional.

Musik Upacara dan Musik Resepsi

Musik dan bunga memainkan peran besar dalam mengatur suasana pernikahan Anda. Keduanya berbicara dengan nada romantis hari itu dan berfungsi untuk mengekspresikan gaya pasangan.

Rata-rata pasangan menghabiskan sekitar 4 persen dari total anggaran mereka untuk bunga dan 5 persen untuk musik. Namun, jika Anda berdua memilih untuk menjadikan musik dan/atau bunga sebagai prioritas, Anda akan segera melihat seberapa cepat anggaran Anda akan meningkat.

Mungkin hal yang paling penting untuk diingat saat Anda membuat musik akhir dan pilihan bunga adalah bahwa ada pilihan, termasuk beberapa alternatif yang sangat kreatif, sangat menarik, dan mungkin lebih murah. Kami akan mengulas beberapa di antaranya. Dan ingat, Anda dapat mengeklik tautan lembar kerja untuk membantu Anda dalam setiap langkah.

Musik Upacara

Jika upacara akan dilakukan di gedung keagamaan, pastikan untuk menanyakan apakah ada batasan musik. Musik instrumental biasanya dimulai 30 menit sebelum upacara, dan solo sering dilakukan segera setelah ibu pengantin wanita duduk. Prosesi dimulai dengan instrumental -- atau terkadang solois -- dan memiliki ketukan yang lambat dan seimbang yang bisa Anda ikuti dengan berjalan kaki. Setelah pengiring terakhir turun ke lorong dan di tempatnya, musik khusus mengumumkan pengantin wanita.

Musik pengantin wanita dapat bervariasi -- mulai dari tradisional atau kontemporer, instrumental atau solois. Pilihan paling populer adalah "Bridal Chorus" ("Here Comes the Bride") Wagner dan "Wedding March" Mendelssohn. Anda mungkin juga ingin satu atau dua lagu dimainkan selama upacara. Terakhir, ada resesi, yang umumnya memiliki tempo yang sedikit lebih cepat.

Apa pun yang Anda berdua pilih untuk daftar lagu Anda, luangkan waktu untuk menemukan musik yang berarti bagi Anda berdua -- atau setidaknya musik yang Anda berdua nikmati. Dan simpan lembar kerja pada setiap musisi upacara Anda yang mencantumkan informasi kontak dan detail penting lainnya.

Musik Resepsi

Tidak seperti pemusik upacara, yang perlu mencerminkan suasana yang khusyuk dan menyentuh hati, musik resepsi adalah tentang hiburan. Ini harus menginspirasi tarian, nyanyian yang menyenangkan, dan kegembiraan yang menyeluruh.

Jika upacara dan resepsi diselenggarakan di gedung yang sama, Anda mungkin dapat menyewa satu set musisi untuk kedua acara tersebut. Namun, lebih sering, Anda memerlukan musisi terpisah untuk upacara dan resepsi.

Berikut adalah beberapa cara untuk meregangkan anggaran musik resepsi Anda, dan cukup mengejutkan, ide-ide ini sering kali dapat mengarahkan Anda berdua ke bakat musik yang lebih kreatif dan berpikiran terbuka.

• Sewa DJ daripada band.
• Sewa band kecil. Ini sedikit lebih mahal daripada DJ tapi lebih murah daripada full band.
• Lihat universitas atau perguruan tinggi lokal untuk mencari bakat muda. Ingat, siswa-siswa ini mungkin adalah musisi yang sama untuk bermain di pesta pernikahan adik bayi Anda dari sekarang! Bonus lain:Karena mereka tidak memiliki repertoar pernikahan standar, musisi ini mungkin lebih terbuka untuk mempelajari permintaan khusus. (Namun, pastikan untuk menemukan seseorang yang dapat diandalkan dan dapat dipercaya. Uang yang Anda hemat tidak perlu mengkhawatirkan masalah menit terakhir.)

Setelah Anda memilih musisi resepsi, buat jadwal musik untuk membantu mereka memainkan lagu-lagu utama pada waktu-waktu tertentu sepanjang malam, seperti tarian pertama dan lemparan karangan bunga.

Pilihan lain adalah meminta musisi untuk tanggal pertunjukan yang akan datang. Selama Anda berdua berjanji untuk berdiri dengan tenang dan hormat di aula di luar upacara, Anda mungkin diizinkan untuk mengamati musisi beraksi.

Segera setelah Anda berdua membuat keputusan, dapatkan kontrak tertulis. Pastikan itu mencakup elemen yang jelas (seperti tanggal dan harga) serta elemen yang tidak terlalu jelas (pakaian musisi, misalnya).

Bunga

Anda berdua kemungkinan besar akan terkejut dan kagum dengan banyaknya bunga yang dibutuhkan untuk menghiasi pernikahan. Yang lebih menakjubkan adalah biayanya, terutama karena Anda mungkin hanya terbiasa membeli karangan bunga kecil dari toko bunga atau toko kelontong setempat. Tapi tampilan botani yang tepat adalah tambahan yang menakjubkan untuk pernikahan.

Saat mewawancarai kandidat toko bunga, cari tahu seberapa terbuka mereka untuk bekerja sesuai anggaran Anda. Toko bunga terbaik adalah yang bisa berkreasi dan menyediakan Anda dengan pengaturan yang unik namun harga terjangkau. Berikut adalah beberapa cara yang terbukti benar untuk memperpanjang anggaran bunga:

• Gunakan bunga pada musimnya. Meskipun toko bunga Anda biasanya bisa mendapatkan hampir semua bunga yang Anda inginkan, pilihan di musim cenderung lebih murah.
• Gunakan banyak tanaman hijau. Untuk karangan bunga, Anda dapat menginstruksikan penjual bunga untuk mempertahankan lebih banyak daun batang (tentu saja, meminta agar hanya dedaunan yang tidak bercacat yang dapat digunakan). Atau, Anda bisa menjalin beberapa bunga sempurna di dalam karangan bunga ivy.
• Batasi jumlah petugas. Ingat, setiap orang yang berpartisipasi dalam pernikahan Anda membutuhkan buket, korsase, atau boutonniere. Lebih sedikit pendamping pengantin berarti lebih sedikit rangkaian bunga yang mahal.
• Pertimbangkan alternatif meja. Alternatives like balloons mixed with only a few flowers, candles surrounded by ivy garlands, and heavenly scented herb arrangements can lower your floral costs. You might also want to consider renting bonsai or small topiary trees.
• Use the ceremony flowers at your reception as well. One caution:There may be a slight up-charge if you'd like the florist to transport and set up the ceremony flowers at the reception site. However, sometimes this cost is far lower than purchasing flowers for two separate locations. Of course, you also could ask a friend to be in charge of transporting the flowers and setting them up.
• Share the ceremony flower cost with another couple. Oftentimes, ceremony flowers are designed to decorate specific areas within the church, synagogue, or temple. This may make it impractical to move and reuse the flowers at the reception. In this case, you may want to try splitting the ceremony flower costs with another couple. Ask the contact person at your church, synagogue, or temple if there is another wedding the day before or after yours. If yes, call that couple, and see if they are open to this huge cost-cutting measure.
• Simplify. Sometimes less really is more -- especially if your wedding style is particularly elegant or sophisticated. For example, if the bride's gown is a simple sheath, select a bouquet of one dramatic, breathtaking flower surrounded by beautiful ribbon.

As with all of the vendors associated with the wedding, keep a contact sheet handy that includes all the key information about your florist. Use this sheet to record notes from each meeting you both have with him or her. Also create a detailed list of your flower order that sums up what needs to go where and get into whose hands or on whose lapel.

Since you've spent all this time picking the right music, musicians, and flowers, you want to make sure you properly document how beautiful it all turns out. In the next section, we will discuss how to select a photographer and videographer.

Also, very dark flowers (magenta, maroon, etc.) may appear unattractively black in photographs, and a monotone bouquet often appears to be one big blob. Ask your photographer about this before finalizing floral selections.

Photography

The wedding photographs preserve forever the magnificence and magic of your wedding day. Your wedding video, on the other hand, tends to capture those precious and often spontaneous moments that defy the limitations of still photography.

Take the time to carefully select both the wedding photographer and videographer. Remember, these are the people who are in charge of recording your precious memories. Remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

The Photography

Amazingly enough, the couple can plan, delight in, and obsess about their wedding day for 12 months, and then -- poof! -- everything's over before they know it. Even though the guests will appreciate every effort you both took to make this a memorable day, you both may find yourselves barely able to remember the menu, let alone the white roses at the end of the aisle.

For these reasons and a million more, your photographer will eventually (say, on your fifth wedding anniversary) become one of the most important persons to have attended your ceremony and reception.

Choosing a Photographer

Do your homework. Ask recently married couples for recommendations. Take a lot of uninterrupted time to study a photographer's portfolio. Look for technical skill, including clear, well-lit photos. Study the bride's and groom's faces:Was the photographer able to capture that nano-second where the bride's eyes expressed the love in her heart rather than the butterflies in her stomach? Despite being posed, do the traditional shots still have a sense of candid happiness, or do they seem flat and unanimated? Does the photographer use multiple-image, split-frame, or other creative techniques?

There are important questions for you both to ask during initial interviews with photographer candidates, such as the rate per hour, extra potential costs, photographer's attire, and number of assistants to be used. There are also definite ways to make the search for a photographer a little easier. For example, you should:

• Start early. The best photographers are booked months in advance. Since you want plenty of time to interview and review more than one photographer, it's best to begin this task as soon as possible.
• Ask to see friends' and relatives' wedding albums. Recommendations are great, but actually seeing the photographer's work is better still.
• Attend bridal fairs. Photographers often have booths at these fairs. You can look at portfolios, collect business cards, and check for available dates. It's also a great way to see several photographers without having to drive all over town.
• Ask your caterer, florist, and musicians for recommendations. These people are in the wedding business, and they've probably seen it all. Of course, their recommendations will probably be from a different perspective. For example, this photographer did not get in the way as food was served, and that photographer got right in the middle of the dance floor and captured every move. In the end, these are all important viewpoints that the average bride might not know to consider.
• Interview several choices. You both may think that wedding photographs are all the same, but they really aren't. There are different levels of creativity, talent, and technical skill. After talking to several photographers, you'll begin to understand the differences, and you'll spot the right person.
• Consider your chemistry with each photographer interviewed. While a photographer's portfolio is his best recommendation, it's also important to consider how you get along with this person. If you both prefer a take-charge, assertive person, look for these qualities during the interview. On the other hand, if you want someone who's laid-back and goes with the flow, watch for this attitude.
• Consider a photographer's creativity. When reviewing a photographer's portfolio, look for black-and-white treatments, multiple images, and other creative techniques. Don't be shy about making special requests. If a friend's wedding album catches your eye, ask if you can borrow her book and show it to each photographer you interview.
• Make sure your photographer has wedding-specific experience. Photographers who specialize in animal shots or formal portraits are probably not your best bet. You want someone who understands what a wedding album means.

Getting the Important Shots

If there are people at your wedding who you especially want photographed, make sure the photographer meets these people. Introducing the photographer to your great-grandmother is a nice responsibility for your maid/matron of honor. And be sure to make these special requests clearly known before the wedding day.

Wedding Photography Trends

Several trends in wedding day photography can make the entire process much more predictable and less stressful. Ultimately, the ideas below can give you more free time on the wedding day.

• Take the formal shots the day or week before your ceremony. Yes, the groom will have to see the bride in her gown, but the benefits of a calm, unhurried session often outweigh any superstitions! Also, a pre-wedding-day photography session gives you both a true dress rehearsal.
• Take more candid shots. There is something captivating about well-taken candid photographs. Some great candid opportunities are when everyone is getting ready, between formal shots when everyone is happy and playful, and as the bride awaits her first step down the aisle.
• Request creative techniques. Black-and-white or black-and-white hand-tinted photos, double exposures, or special filters all offer unique and captivating results.

Once you both have determined which specific shots are important and when you would like the photographer to take these shots, create a photography schedule to keep him or her on track. And while you're at it, make a contact sheet with the details of your wedding package along with basic information about the photographer. This will make sure you and the photographer are on the same page and eliminate any potential for surprises.

If planned conversations are too daunting a task, ask the videographer to call special people into a room one at a time to record special messages. They can be from bride to mother, groom to brother, father to future son-in-law, or from any person who wants to send a message to the bride or groom.

The Videographer

Like the photographer, the videographer is responsible for capturing memories. What sets the video apart from the wedding album is that video tends to be more action- and sound-oriented and thus has the potential for being more spontaneous and candid. There's no better way to remember the informal but nonetheless remarkable moments of your day.

Many times, video is the only way to capture the moment you exchange vows, since the flashes for still photographs are sometimes not permitted or wanted during the ceremony. A quiet video camera, unobtrusively set up stage left, allows you to hold those vows forever at your fingertips.

As you both did when selecting photography, interview several videographer candidates, and use friends' wedding videos to help express what you're looking for. Once you find that perfect videographer, create a videography schedule with all the key moments you would like captured plus a contact sheet detailing everything you need to remember about your videographer.

Details, details. There sure is a lot to remember when planning a wedding, isn't there? Let's keep going by learning more about getting the rehearsal, ceremony, and transportation details set on the next page.

• Hire an experienced yet independent photographer rather than a studio. Studios have more overhead than independent photographers. And while self-employed photographers may not be able to get proofs done as quickly as a larger studio, they may offer a better price.
• Skip the genuine leather, gold-embossed album. Cut back on your album cover costs, and you'll have a bigger budget for what goes inside.
• Don't overlap photo and video requests. If you are hiring a videographer to cruise the reception, you could forgo photographs of every table.

Rehearsal

It's easy to get bogged down in the details of wedding planning -- especially for aspects of the wedding that have so many components, like the rehearsal and the ceremony, and for the more mundane items on your checklist, such as transportation. Remember to keep the overall picture in mind, and always try to add a personal touch to each detail you both plan. Don't forget you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

The Rehearsal

The rehearsal is incredibly important, not only for obvious reasons, but also because it reduces the risk of ceremony surprises, tends to relax the wedding party, and gives his side a chance to mingle with her side. It also makes the reception even more fun and personal.

The worksheet link above provides a cheat sheet of everything you both need to remember about the rehearsal, including what you both should take along (such as the wine and the marriage license) that you will need on your actual wedding day.

Rehearsal Party

The rehearsal party immediately follows the official rehearsal. While the party is traditionally hosted by the groom's family, more and more groom's parents now choose instead to help with the overall reception costs, which, with the exception of the bar bill, were traditionally covered only by the bride's parents.

The rehearsal party is a chance for the bride and groom to mingle with loved ones and introduce wedding attendants from his family to wedding attendants from her family. It's also traditionally the time for the couple to give gifts to each wedding party attendant.

Rehearsal parties can run the gamut. They can be quite formal or casual. They can be in a restaurant or a private home. They can include dinner or simply be drinks and appetizers. In other words, anything goes and anything is acceptable.

All members of the wedding party are included on the rehearsal party guest list, as well as their spouses. All parents, the officiant (and his or her spouse), and the coordinator (if any) are also invited. Some couples also invite other wedding vendors (the musicians, photographer, etc.) and out-of-town guests, but that is entirely optional.

The Ceremony

This is the time to acknowledge every fantasy and recall every wedding ceremony that has touched the bride's and groom's heart -- whether the ceremony was your best friend's, your Aunt Mabel's, or a scene on the big screen starring Audrey Hepburn. Indulge yourselves and your most romantic dreams. The only real limitations are budget and size. (In other words, you both want to make sure the ceremony site can hold all of your guests.)

The Ceremony Site

A ceremony does just as much to set the tone of the wedding day as anything else. If the bride and groom belong to the same church, synagogue, or temple and they want a traditional ceremony, choosing the ceremony site is simple. If, however, they want a more unique ceremony or if they do not belong to the same religious organization, then they may need to do a little hunting to find the perfect site.

There are four general ceremony styles for you both to choose from. Each of the four styles has plenty of room for personal expression.

• Traditional: A traditional ceremony is performed in a church, synagogue, or temple by a religious leader. (A military ceremony is also considered traditional.)
• Contemporary: This ceremony is most often in a historical building, museum, garden, or along a shoreline. There generally still are seats, an aisle, and a religious officiant.
• Unique: These "extreme" ceremonies are held underwater, on mountaintops, in the air, or wherever your fantasy leads you. It takes a lot of courage to select this style, and you can expect more than the average number of regrets. If it's your dream, though, go for it!
• Private: Reserved women fall in love and get married, too -- they just don't want to be on center stage. For these people, a private ceremony at city hall or a small religious site is perfect. They can then have a large party, with lots of mingling and no spotlights, at another time.

No matter how extravagant or simple the couple's dreams are for the ceremony site, it's important they keep track of all the details, including such things as the maximum number of guests, fee involved, and attire restrictions.

• Switch places. Have the officiant stand with his or her back toward the guests while you both face the guests.
• Consider a small ceremony. The smaller the guest list, the more options you have, such as asking guests to join hands in a circle around the bride and groom.
• Ask both sets of parents to participate in the processional. Instead of looking at it as the bride's father giving her away, think of it as two families joining together.
• Let the bride walk down the aisle with the groom. This is often done by older brides, but many young women also choose this option.

Ceremony Costs

There are several standard fees associated with the wedding ceremony. The following areas are all considered normal add-on fees and should be included in the budget. In the end, all of these additional fees add value to your ceremony.

• Officiant: This is the person who actually performs the ceremony, legally pronouncing you husband and wife. The officiant may be a religious leader at the church, synagogue, or temple where you will hold your ceremony; a religious leader invited to your ceremony site from another church, synagogue, or temple; or a judge or justice. Whoever the person is, there will be a fee (or donation) for the service. Be sure to provide a schedule to the officiant so he or she knows exactly what you have planned for the ceremony.
• Site fee: There are often additional fees beyond the building in which you hold the ceremony. These are generally for decorative items used to set up the site to your liking or items associated with religious traditions. Some of the add-on fees may include an aisle runner, candelabras and candles (if permitted), the altar or chuppah, knee cushions, canopy, and chairs (if necessary in addition to the pews).
• Special services: Certain services outside the jurisdiction of your officiant or site manager include cleanup services, parking services, setup services, or tear-down services. These normally have an additional fee.

Wedding Vows

There was a time when the wedding vows were more or less set in stone. Those days, however, are gone. And while that's good news for those who are looking for another way to express their love, it also means one more thing for the bride and groom to worry about. Here are your choices:

• Traditional vows: If you are having a religious ceremony with traditional vows, there is still room for input. Read through the customary vows to make sure you find nothing contradictory with your beliefs, such as things that you think are outdated or sexist. Consider inserting special readings or poems. Sometimes family and friends are invited to read scriptures or poetry.
• Self-written vows: Many brides and grooms write their own vows. A few suggestions are to acknowledge the guests and the importance of their presence; explain the qualities you most love about your future spouse or tell your hopes for the future.

The Receiving Line

The receiving line is a special chance for guests to officially meet the bride's and groom's families, as well as an opportunity to personally congratulate the newlyweds. This line is usually formed directly after the ceremony, with guests offering their congratulations as they move on to the reception. It can also be formed so that guests arriving at the reception must first pass through the line. It's perfectly fine to keep conversation brief (yet still somewhat personal).

• Eat before the ceremony.
• Pay any outstanding balances before the ceremony.
• Prepare an emergency kit filled with aspirin, a few extra pairs of pantyhose, mints, hair and safety pins, tissues, a sewing kit, tampons, a few energy bars, and so on.
• Allow extra time for activities. Everything tends to take longer than expected.
• Whenever possible, delegate.

Transportation

Some might consider limousine service on your wedding day extravagant, but it is a surprisingly affordable luxury -- and an appropriate indulgence when you consider the miles of lace the bride will be wearing. Check out several transportation company candidates before settling on one -- many offer great deals if you both search hard enough.

A limousine can be used both before and/or after the ceremony. For example, the bride and her attendants could take a limo to the church. The couple (and possibly the best man and maid/matron of honor) could also be whisked away to the reception in a limousine. And remember there are several romantic alternatives to a limousine service. For example, the couple may be able to rent an antique car or hire a horse and carriage.

One trend is to find a way to keep the whole wedding party together in transit. This can include anything from renting a trolley (check the Yellow Pages for any local companies) to renting a mini-bus (available through many limousine services). This allows the entire wedding party to have a private post-ceremony celebration together.

Beyond hiring transportation for yourselves and the wedding party, you may want to consider paying for valet parking for your guests. If the ceremony and reception are at a fine hotel, they probably already offer this service -- which you can often secure at a reduced rate. If this service is not part of your ceremony or reception package, consider hiring parking attendants. This is a particularly thoughtful gesture if your ceremony is someplace where street parking is difficult.

You' both have walked down the aisle, exchanged vows, puckered up for the all-important kiss -- and now it's party time! In the next section we will help you both plan your wedding reception.

• Private clubs or hotels:If you select a private establishment, you may need to be a member or have a member's sponsorship.
• Private homes or gardens:Look for dramatic features, such as a grand staircase or an elaborate garden. If the garden is what attracts you, ask the home owner when the flowers are peaking and schedule your wedding accordingly.
• Cruise ships or boats.
• Mountains, parks, or beaches:There may even be an on-site city-owned facility that has rooms to rent for weddings. Try calling the local parks and recreation department.
• Wineries or orchards.
• Historical or public sites.
• Art galleries or museums.
• Resorts or bed-and-breakfast inns:These are especially well suited for weekend weddings.

Reception and Catering

Like the ceremony, the reception and catering should reflect the bride and groom's overall wedding style. And just as with the ceremony, pretty much anything goes. Your reception can be an elaborately planned formal sit-down dinner, a relaxed yet elegant semiformal buffet luncheon, a glamorous cocktail party, or a casual outdoor brunch. No matter which style you both choose, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you plan the reception and catering.

Traditionally, a reception includes the following broad categories:a receiving line (which you may choose to include as part of the ceremony), a toast to the couple, a meal, cake, and music. The only must for a wedding reception, however, is lots of celebrating. In other words, do whatever you both like to make this a truly romantic, memorable, and -- above all -- lovely day.

While reception sites run the gamut from a formal restaurant to a backyard, you both want to make absolutely certain that your site can comfortably hold the number of guests you wish to invite. It also must accommodate guests' parking needs and any activities you want, such as dancing.

Before choosing a reception site, you both must define the mood of your reception. Even though anything goes, you still have to define what "anything" means to you both.

To begin, consider your other wedding decisions, such as the style of your dress, invitations, and ceremony. Will these be very formal and traditional? It might seem odd to go from a formal, traditional ceremony to a unique, creative reception ... but again, it's up to you both.

Once you set the mood, select three or four reception site possibilities that can accommodate your concept. After choosing the reception site that meets your needs, keep a detailed checklist of everything the site has and, more important, doesn't have, so you can be sure to rent what you need. Also provide the site with a schedule so the people in charge on your Big Day know what you expect. Be sure to map out a seating plan -- with help from your fiance -- and give a copy to the manager at the reception site and a copy to your caterer.

Reception Costs

You both will probably devote 35 to 40 percent of your wedding budget to the reception. Some ideas for stretching the dollars:

• Serve limited alcoholic beverages. By limiting your bar selections to soft drinks, punch, champagne, beer, and wine, you will save a substantial amount of money.
• Rent necessary equipment yourself. You'll cut out the middleman and save a significant amount of money.
• Select a meal option other than dinner. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, high tea, and cocktails are all less expensive than dinner.
• Limit the open bar. If you both definitely want an open bar but need to trim costs, limit the time your bar is open. Once the bar is closed, you can still have wine, beer, and nonalcoholic beverages available.
• Always ask about packages. Many sites offer reception packages, and while these options may give you less room for special requests, they often come with a lower final figure.

The Food

There are basically three options for the reception food:self-catered, catered, or included with the total reception package. With the last option, you'll generally work with the food manager from a hotel, restaurant, or country club. Within these three categories, you can aim for a formal, semiformal, or casual menu.

A Caterer

Some hotels and especially private establishments such as museums or historical buildings do not offer food preparation services. In these cases, you need to hire a caterer. Make sure you choose a caterer you can trust who is experienced in weddings. Then let this person be your guide. Your caterer is an expert, and considering the fact that you're paying for his or her services, you might as well sit back and enjoy the help. Also, you both should insist on a tasting session before choosing a caterer. Give very careful second thoughts to anyone unwilling to provide this service.

Once you both have settled on a caterer, keep a worksheet on all of his or her contact information as well as details about the menu, including costs.

A Food Manager

This person -- while technically working for a private club, hotel, restaurant, or country club -- should be handled just the same as a caterer. Again, you need to be certain to find one that you're comfortable working with, and you need to sample the food offered before you make any decisions. Food managers should be able to accommodate special requests, although sometimes on a more limited scale.

A Self-Catered Affair

You may choose to prepare all of the food yourselves. If you both are planning a small, intimate reception, this is sometimes an option that can save some money. If you both choose this, be sure to go into it with your eyes wide open. The secret is to plan ahead, ask for help, choose as many make-ahead-and-freeze courses as possible, and organize, organize, organize.

The Cake

The wedding cake should be a work of creative art as well as a delicious dessert. Many reception sites and caterers include the cake with their wedding packages, but you may prefer to select a baker on your own. If doing so, you both first need to select a cake type, size, and style.

The number of tiers is dictated by sheer preference, budget, or the number of guests you need to feed. The icing is generally white, but the inside can be whatever flavor you desire.

Generally speaking, it is the outside cake decorations that most affect cost. The inside follows no standard rules and can be any flavor. As with the food, insist on a tasting session before you choose a baker. Also keep a detailed list of important information about the baker you've chosen that includes fees and specifics about the cake.

The Groom's Cake

The groom's cake is an old Southern tradition that fades in and out of favor. While it is certainly not mandatory, it does add a sweet touch to the day. This cake, generally chocolate cake with chocolate icing (as opposed to the bride's white cake), is cut, placed in take-home boxes, and given to guests upon departure. Legend has it that a single girl who places this cake under her pillow will dream of the man she will marry.

Many women have a picture of their dream wedding gown in their head long before they even meet the man they want to marry. But wedding attire involves more than just the bride's white dress. Check the next section for helpful tips on selecting the perfect wedding attire for the bride and groom.

• Talk to professional and amateur "experts." Get referrals and recommendations from people in the wedding business and newlyweds.
• Visit the site before you make any decisions.
• Never assume a total price includes everything. Many sites charge extra for things such as linens. You don't want to rack up any unexpected fees; equally important, you don't want to find out last minute that you are missing essential items.
• Ask vendors about backup plans. Problems do come up, people get sick, and cars break down. If your photographer can't make it, does he have someone to fill in?
• Ask for everything in writing. You want to be sure to have a written contract that clearly spells out everything that you and the vendor agreed upon.

Wedding Attire

Everything that surrounds the bride as she walks down the aisle should represent nothing less than warmth, love, and beauty. Her gown, her attendants, and both of your family and friends standing

near -- they all embody decades of dreams, centuries of tradition, and a few fleeting moments of utter joy.

Choosing the bride's gown and groom's attire, and the apparel for the rest of the wedding party, can be a long process. Just remember to use the clothes to reinforce the style of the rest of the wedding. In other words, if the wedding is a formal evening affair in an elaborate setting, don't put the groomsmen in casual sports coats and trousers. As we walk you both through the process of selecting the appropriate wedding attire, remember that you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

The Wedding Gown

Before the bride begins shopping for her gown, she should take a look inside her closet and pull out the dresses that make her feel absolutely gorgeous. Study their basic shapes and cuts.

Next, buy an armful of bride magazines. Tear out pages with fashions that catch her eye. Have a pen handy, so she can circle any neckline and sleeve treatments she likes.

She'll probably be trying on dozens of dresses, so create a log of what she likes and didn't like about her top gown possibilities. Once she has made her selection, keep track of all of her ordering information in one place to make it easy to make any follow-up phone calls to the boutique.

The Veil and the Headpiece

There are many styles of veils and headpieces. First and foremost, the bride should choose headwear that coordinates with her dress. However, most headwear can be adapted to coordinate with any gown style.

Her only other concern is deciding what sort of veil and headpiece she feels comfortable in. Her comfort level depends on how she likes to wear her hair and whether she wants to wear all or part of the headpiece during the reception. On the subject of hair, she'll probably want to make a general decision about her wedding day hairstyle before buying the headpiece.

The Bridesmaids' Attire

Once the subject of ridicule and scorn, bridesmaid dresses now have a world of options.Bridesmaids don't even have to dress alike anymore. The bride can choose to have the wedding party all dress in the same color or fabric. Just remember that the bridesmaids will be paying for these dresses; try to choose one within their budgets.

As the bride did with her wedding dress, she should keep track of the likes and dislikes of her bridesmaids' gown possibilities. Then create a detailed worksheet about the bridesmaid gowns she has selected, including all of her attendant's measurements.

The Groom's Apparel

As with the modern bride, the modern groom no longer absolutely has to wear a traditional black tux. A nice-looking suit and tie has become popular, and this option allows the groom to wear the suit for other special occasions.

If he wants to stick with the rental route, be sure to check out a few rental apparel possibilities to make sure he gets the style he likes at the price you both like. Then keep track of all the groom's ordering information, including dates for the fittings.

Groomsmen's Attire

The groomsmen's apparel should match (or at least reflect) the style of the groom's attire. The groomsmen will sometimes wear a less formal or less colorful version of what the groom is wearing. The best man will often match the groom. It's a good idea to have a list of all the groomsmen's measurements in case you run into any problems with the rental company.

Phew! You both made it through the wedding planning. That's it, right? Well, not quite. You can't forget about the honeymoon, post-wedding parties, and gift registry. While all of these are pleasant distractions, they do take planning nonetheless. Check out the last page for information on the gifts, parties, and honeymoon details.

• Look at white or ivory bridesmaid gowns or retail dresses to use as the bridal gown. You might find a wide selection of elegant yet slightly less pricey dresses in stores' prom or formalwear departments.
• Rent the bridal gown. Believe it or not, this is increasingly popular and accessible. Check your Yellow Pages for a resource.
• Restyle a previously worn gown, either from a relative or a consignment shop. If, however, the gown needs massive repairs or restyling, the effort may not be worth it. Check with an expert before buying a previously worn gown.

Gifts and Parties

A wedding is all about fun stuff. And what could be more fun than giving everyone an excuse to have a party -- to put on clothes that rarely get worn, to get silly and sentimental all at once, and to hug anyone and everyone. There will be lunches, brunches, showers, cocktail events, bachelor and bachelorette festivities, and impromptu gatherings galore.

In addition to the parties, there will be gifts...lots of them. You and your fiance will receive presents big and small. To make sure you receive what you both truly need and want, you should register with at least one store. We will show you both how to tend to these final party and gift details. And remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

Registering is time-consuming and can be slightly stressful because of the many decisions that need to be made. Physically, it's easy. You both simply go to the gift registry department at your favorite store and either fill out a massive checklist or use an electronic scanner to note items that you want. Then, the store will print out your complete wish list.

You both should seriously consider registering at several stores, maybe one that offers wonderful formal dinnerware, one that offers gorgeous furniture and housewares, and one larger superstore where you can register for electronics, gardening supplies, or any little thing your heart desires. That way, you both are sure to hit all of your wishes and all of your guests' price ranges.

On the subject of gifts, perhaps the greatest gift of all is the honeymoon -- something you and your fiance give to each other -- and something most newlyweds need and want more than anything. After months of planning, negotiating, and compromising, you both deserve a special and memorable getaway. After all, once you both return home, it's back to reality.

Creating the Gift Registry

Registering for gifts is fun and functional. As for the fun part, what better way to spend an afternoon than jotting down hundreds of things you both wish you owned. As for functionality, registering ensures that you actually receive things you need. Registering also keeps duplicate gifts at a minimum...unless you both really want four gravy boats?

At every store you both register, you will receive a printout of your registration that details all selected items, style numbers, and desired quantities. If you care to know your gift status at any given time, you both can request an updated printout that will list all items and quantities purchased thus far. Some stores also have Web sites that let you check the up-to-the-minute status of your list.

Before heading off to register, go through the following list together and take note of the general categories that deserve special attention. Think of particular items that you both need in each category, and jot them down on a piece of paper.

• Formal dinnerware
• Informal dinnerware
• Formal flatware
• Informal flatware
• Serveware
• Casual glassware/barware
• Crystal
• Bar needs
• Kitchenware
• Linens
• Decorative items
• Electronics

Duly Noted

Every gift -- big or small, expected or not -- should be followed up with a thank you card. To make the process easier, keep a good wedding gift record from the start that includes the name of the giver, the gift, and an area for you to check off when you've sent a thank you note.

The note should be sent as soon as possible, so you both want to try to keep up with this as the gifts arrive. Because you'll likely be writing many notes, keep them brief. You are not obligated to send an entire letter. Simply begin by thanking the person for the gift, move on to a sentence about how the two of you will use the gift, mention how happy you are that this person could attend the shower or wedding, and close with a second and final thank you.

Showers

Legend has it that bridal showers began when a poor Dutch miller wanted to marry a woman whose father forbade the union and refused a dowry. The miller's friends decided to shower the couple with everything they needed to begin a life together.

Today, the bride can expect anywhere from one to many showers. Showers can have themes, such as kitchen or honeymoon; they can be of a personal nature, with gifts centered on lingerie and bath items; or they can simply be friendly gatherings with gifts purchased according to the couple's registry list. A popular trend is a couples shower, where the engaged couple attends together and the guest list includes other couples.

Each person or couple who throws a shower should receive a special thank you letter, something a little more intimate than the usual thank you card. You both may also choose to offer hosts and hostesses a small gift -- a token of your appreciation. This could be a bouquet of flowers, a plant, a meaningful book, a special bottle of wine, or any other personal gift. Bridesmaid Party

Some brides like to hostess a bridesmaid party. This is a wonderful way to show your appreciation or their support, love, and help before, during, and after the wedding. It's also a great way for out-of-town attendants to meet everyone else before the Big Day.

Post-Wedding Party

The post-wedding party, held the day after the reception, probably began spontaneously because of out-of-town guests with time on their hands. Today, it is a very popular idea and well on its way to becoming a tradition. This event is usually hosted by the bride's mother, the groom's mother, or both mothers together.

The event can be brunch or lunch and includes anyone you both care to invite, but it especially includes out-of-town guests. The bride and groom may or may not attend, depending on personal preferences and/or the honeymoon schedule.

The Honeymoon

Whether you both hire a consultant to take care of every last wedding detail or you handle every decision yourselves, you are likely to leave the reception exhausted. You both will need the honeymoon to come down from all the excitement and activity.

The best time to tackle the honeymoon is right from the start of the wedding process. This is when you both want to begin considering honeymoon possibilities and then select a wedding date that coordinates with your general destination. For example, if you are both ski enthusiasts, you probably don't want an August wedding. After you set a date, begin thinking of the honeymoon specifics.

Anyone who has planned a wedding will probably say they never imagined how many details there were to take care of. The good news is if you both use the tips and worksheet links included in this article, you'll have all the bases covered and you both can focus on the fun, personal touches that really make a wedding spectacular.

^© Publications International, Ltd.

Here are some helpful tips that make a honeymoon even more relaxing:

• Do handle all banking and traveler's checks matters a few days before the wedding.
• Do take only national credit cards.
• Do leave your itinerary with both sets of parents.
• Do use those toll-free numbers that come with every reservation confirmation letter. You can call ahead for weather reports (for packing), last-minute confirmations, and restaurant recommendations (you might want to make reservations early).
• Do relax and enjoy yourself.
• Don't give your offices your hotel phone numbers, and don't take your cell phone.
• Don't forget to pack all your confirmation letters.
• Don't forget to pack your emergency numbers (for doctors, credit card companies, etc.).
• Don't forget the camera.
• Don't fret about anything you both forgot to do. It will all still be there when you return!